its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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