so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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