I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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