why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
