Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
