she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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