Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
