I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
