i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
