I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
