just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
