wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
