I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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