i don't like sucking hair
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
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