Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
