3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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