Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
