well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize