yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
