erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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