Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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