i just wanna soil my oats bro
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
