i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
