so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
