my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
