that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
