If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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