I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
worst night to have a conscience
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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