I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
