No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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