So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
