idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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