Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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