will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
