i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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