I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
