Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
