hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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