Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
