Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
