i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
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Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
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