Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
