I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
