you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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