I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
