Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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