Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
