There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
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he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize