Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
