We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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