if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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