I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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