I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
