:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
