you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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