are you so shy because you have an std?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
