holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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