There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize