She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
