i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
