worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
